My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
