fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
