You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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