I cockslap morals
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
