There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
