remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Someone shattered a urinal.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
