i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
