insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
