goodnight i made you a song goodbye
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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