somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
