found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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