My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
