somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
