You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
