I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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