I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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