What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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