so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
