He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Mom said you looked used
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
