i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
