So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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