i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
