i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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