Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
