I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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