Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
