I'm going to jail i love you
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
should my penis look like a turkey
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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