How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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