and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
