is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
