i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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