I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
