that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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