We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
foreskin is a definite game changer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
