I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
