im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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