Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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