you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
