you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
