You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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