I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
