$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
