marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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