Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
