what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
