she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
