i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
