I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
