my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
