So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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