my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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