I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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