She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize