Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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