i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
