i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
