I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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