is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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