Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
