she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize