What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize