dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I forget how to act sober
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
